The Power of Community and Therapy with Alicia Sinclair
Alicia Sinclair is the CEO of COTR, Inc., a family of sex toy brands. Each brand embodies her personal mission, values and philosophies in their own unique ways, making sex more fun, more enjoyable, and more adventurous for all who seek it.
Alicia is a multi-award-winning Sex Tech designer, certified sex educator, and businesswoman of the year. Prior to starting COTR, Alicia was the VP of worldwide sales and business development at Jimmyjane, where she created and developed a sex education boot-camp to help educate retailers, and worked with the Dept. of Justice to help the FBI develop communication channels between the government and the adult industry as part of the Child Protection & Obscenity Enforcement Act.
Alicia has been a voice for pleasure-based sex education leading workshops at Pleasure Chest, Babeland, Museum of Sex, and as a panelist delivering inclusive, research-based approach to Sex Tech with HBO, Soho House, and the Erotic Intelligence Institute.
Alicia has been an intimacy educator and contributor for Playboy, Paper Mag, Glamour, Vice, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, and many more.
To learn more about Alicia visit her website and follow the COTR brands on IG @bvibe_social, @lewandmassager, @ridethecowgirl.
Although I’d been involved in the sex-positive sphere for well over a decade, I found it was hard to completely escape the type of anti-sex rhetoric that causes shame in others.
Humans are sexual beings, and our sexuality slides up and down a beautiful spectrum where there is no room for shame, doubt, or other negative thoughts that can hang over people’s heads when it comes to sexual pleasure. I wanted to create not just a community, but a safe space where people could come, find the sex education they never got in school, and feel less alone in their sexual desires and pursuits. So, in August 2015, I launched COTR, Inc- the parent company of sex-toy brands b-Vibe, Le Wand, & The Cowgirl.
As a sex-positive advocate and already part of the sex toy industry, I knew I wanted to emphasize the importance of people embracing their authentic selves through sexual pleasure. For me, being part of a community of sex educators and creating a family of sex toy brands that reflects my passion to eschew taboos and highlight the human right to experience pleasure, has always been at the forefront of what I do.
When it comes to sexuality, we sometimes tend to forget or dismiss that sexual pleasure comes in all forms — a reality we really drove home with b-Vibe’s “Every Body Has A Butt” campaign. While some products are specific to those who have a clitoris, vulva, or prostate, anal play products are for everyone. It was important for me to enhance the education around anal play, something that has far too long been stigmatized. b-Vibe came about because not only was it time to really address the immense pleasure one can experience with exploring all types of anal play, but the quality of anal products that were out there just weren’t where they should be. It’s hard to fully relax and melt into an erotic moment when there’s part of you wondering exactly what might be in your toys.
The “Every Body Has A Butt” campaign created a community of people who openly discussed their love for anal pleasure and inspired others to do the same. There’s power in encouraging those around us to delve into parts of their sexuality that they may not have dared to flirt with before, and that’s something I’m always working on in both my professional and personal life. Being part of this generation of sex toy creators, an industry once dominated by cisgender, straight men, has given me the freedom to design products that don’t just represent the sex-positive movement we’re currently in, but the autonomy to create lines of toys that are empowering and inclusive for everyone. While COTR’s other two brands, Le Wand and Cowgirl, may not carry with them the same taboo factor that b-Vibe products do, all of them in their own way encourage not just sexual experimentation, but dialogue too.
As much as people put emphasis on physical health when it comes to healthy living, sexual wellbeing is just as important. Being at peace with your sexuality and understanding what gets you off is an important component to overall happiness, mentally and emotionally. Just knowing that the products I’ve created and the education I’ve provided contributes to many people’s lives in that way, is truly rewarding.
In recent months, there’s been a shift in sexual health related content. Online magazines aren’t accepting pitches about certain sex acts as they once did and when they do, they’re watered-down versions of what we’ve seen in the past. Advertisers are turning away from the possibility of having their ads run alongside sex-ed pieces that are meant to enhance people’s lives and sexual understanding. Because of this the time is now to strengthen the community we’ve built by doing things on our own terms. For example, Le Wand has “Rumble & Buzz,” b-Vibe has “Anal Academy,” and Cowgirl has “The Cowgirl Blog,” all of which take sex education to new heights and answer the types of questions that some people may be scared to contemplate, let alone verbalize.
I have found that in being part of a community that so openly embraces all facets of sexual wellness and sexual exploration, we all benefit. Allowing people to be who they are in regard to their sexuality, kinks, fetishes, and all the other components that make us human isn’t just a healthy reminder of how intimately we’re all connected in the grand scheme, but it’s therapeutic. People feel restored and confident when they know they’re not alone, especially when it comes to a topic that is sometimes still whispered in certain circles.
I love knowing that COTR has and will continue to play a role in debunking sex-related fallacies, that we’re empowering people through education, and we’re teaching that sexual pleasure isn’t just a human right, but an important aspect to living the most healthy and authentic life one can.
For Alica’s guidance on how to get started with sex toys, check out her blog A Toy For Everyone.
