Creating Space For Connection
Listen More. Blame Less.
Listen More. Blame Less.
Humans need connection. When we are lacking in it our mental health is impacted. So how do we create more connections? According to shame researcher, author, and professor Dr. Brené Brown, we listen more, don’t try to silver lining everything and stop playing the blame game.
Empathy and blame are big concepts to grasp, but both are associated with connection. Understanding them can make us braver, kinder people and more safe, supportive friends.
These animated shorts by Katy Davis, illustrate Dr. Brené Brown’s talks that break down empathy and blame into bite-sized nuggets we can integrate into our day-to-day lives. Worth the watch and we already took notes for you!
THE POWER OF EMPATHY.
TLDW
The four qualities of empathy are: perspective taking, staying out of judgment, recognizing emotion in other people, and then communicating that.
Empathy is recognizing emotion in other people. Dr. Brené Brown summarizes empathy as, “feeling with people.”
Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Empathy drives connection, sympathy drives disconnection.
Empathetic response rarely starts with, “At least…”. When people share painful things, trying to silver lining it, drives disconnection.
Rarely can a response make something better. What makes it better is connection. Don’t try to fix it. Simply be there, listen and thank them for sharing.
WHY WE NEED TO STOP PLAYING THE BLAME GAME.
TLDW
When we are looking for fault, we miss opportunities for connection.
Blame is the inverse of accountability. We play the blame game to avoid the vulnerability of holding people accountable.
Blame is the release of discomfort and pain. It’s much more comfortable for it to be someone’s fault, even our own fault, than for it to be no one's fault at all.
Blame gives us a feeling of control. We often hold onto the anger of being wronged rather than share how we were hurt or frustrated by something.
Blame is corrosive in our relationships. We can’t truly hear someone when we’re silently raging in our head about something they did.
Life is heavy. Being more empathetic and slower to blame, will create connections that lighten our mood and the mood of those around you, and help us feel less alone. For more mood boosters, follow us @femalecollective.
